How about we share a few edgy paragraphs or lines from one of our stories?

[Michelle Sutton]

I thought it might be fun to share a few lines or paragraphs that we consider edgy (daring, innovative, unique, etc) from either a published or non-yet-published book. Anyone want to share something? I'm going to edit my book for a few hours and I hope to see some comments and examples when I come back. If none are here I may add an example of my own. But I'd love to see some of your stuff!

[Donald James Parker]

I'll jump in with both feet. This is from the rough draft I just completed of a book called Reforming the Potter's Clay.
I need to put in some filler to go with my talking heads dialogue. I'm convinced I should be writing movie scripts instead of books because I only want to do dialogue. Hopefully this blurb is not too long. The scene is this: a dating couple in the living room and their kids hiding and spying on them.


“So, how about we get together Saturday morning for breakfast?” Salvador asked

His invitation etched a smile onto Barbara's face. “My place or yours?”

“It doesn’t matter to me. I just want to spend time with you.”

“That’s sweet of you, Sal. Why would you want to do that?”

“Fishing for compliments, are you?”

“Season’s open all year long.”

Sal laughed. “OK, here you go: I want to spend more time with you because you're a warm, intelligent, and attractive lady.”

“That’s not a bad start. I’m not sure it's a keeper though.”

“Hey, are you casting doubts on my compliments?”

“Not exactly. I’m just casting to tempt their big brother–or maybe an uncle.”

“And you’re tempting me, too.”

“In what way?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“You know I would, so tell me.”

”No.”

“Am I going to have to tickle it out of you?”

“I’m not ticklish.”

“Yeah, and St. Patrick wasn’t Irish, either.”

“I’m warning you. If you tickle me, I might say a whole lot more than you want to hear.”

"Impossible. For now, though, there is one question I want answered.”

“Am I supposed to guess what the question is?”

“Hold on. I’ll get there. I was just wondering . . . ah . . . why you’ve never tried to kiss me.”

The kids, choking on squeals, barely contained themselves. Pedro put a hand on each of the two younger kids to keep them from scrambling out for a better view.

“Have you tried to kiss me?” Sal asked.

“Well, no, but I figure that’s the man’s job.”

"Why? A gentleman is never sure that the lady desires intimacy. So, if a woman wants a kiss, maybe she should be the one to make the first move."

"I usually trust your opinions. OK. Pucker up, big boy."

“Are you hinting that you’re going to kiss me?”

“I’m hinting you should shut up and get those lips ready.”

The kids braced themselves for face-mashing.

Barbara’s face was inches from Sal’s when she wailed, “Wait. I can’t!”

“You can’t kiss me?”

“No, no, no! That’s not the problem. I can’t do breakfast on Saturday! That’s the day the new Harry Potter book comes out. The kids and I are going to the bookstore for a party. It’s like a sunrise event, and it goes for hours. If we don’t get there early enough, they might be sold out. Maybe you guys could come with us?”

Sal hopped to his feet. His footsteps indicated he was headed toward them; it looked like they were about to be busted. The four kids froze in place like they were playing statues. The footsteps stopped. Sal paused, sighed, and walked back to Barbara.

Faith sagged against a wall, looked up, and lipped a silent 'Thank you.' Matthew knelt and softly beat his pale forehead on gold Berber carpet. Pedro made the sign of the cross. Esperanza whispered, "I gotta go potty."

"Wow. I thought you were a Christian, Barbara."

“You thought right. Who says I’m not?”

“I’m not saying you’re not a Christian because you are a Harry Potter fan. What I am saying is, because you are a Christian, you should be staying away from Harry.”

“Why? They’re just innocent books for kids where good triumphs over evil.”

“They contain witchcraft. Since when is witchcraft good?”

“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation!”

“Me either. I can’t believe I have to warn you about the evils of witchcraft.”

[Michelle Sutton]

Interesting exchange. Thanks for sharing. So when are they going to smooch? :)

[melody rose sproule]

This is so interesting. My married daughter & I just had this discussion. I am horrified she would say its ok if my grandchildren read these books. Thank you for writing about this. Melody

[Richard Mabry]

Okay, I'm game. The opening scene of my novel number two (as yet unpublished):

"Okay, get him on the table and prepped. Move it, people!" Dr. Ben Merrick’s voice echoed back at him from the green tile walls of Operating Room One.

He strode to the table in the rear of the room, broke open a gown pack, and shoved his arms into one of the sterile garments. While the circulating nurse tied the strings of his gown, he snapped on a pair of latex surgical gloves.

Ben turned his head to look at the boy who lay on the gurney like a blood-spattered rag doll, his face almost as white as the sheet that covered him. Intravenous lines snaked into both arms. A small green tank between his knees fed oxygen into his nostrils via a plastic cannula.

"Rick, John, move him over—now!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Ben saw the anesthesiologist and the surgical resident lift the patient onto the operating table and use blunt-nosed scissors to cut away the last of his clothing.

Ben pivoted toward his scrub nurse, Kathy, who was rummaging through a jumble of surgical instruments from an opened sterile pack. She pointed to the ones she had selected as essential, now lined up on the Mayo tray and ready. He nodded his approval.

"Pour some Betadine on his belly," Ben said. "We need to get going."

John picked up a plastic bottle and doused the boy’s abdomen with antiseptic solution, turning its fish-belly pallor to a coppery red. Before the last drops had run down the patient’s flanks, Ben grabbed the edge of the gray-green draping sheet Kathy was holding. With practiced efficiency, they spread it over the boy’s abdomen, centering the opening in the sheet on his navel, leaving only an impersonal rectangle of skin exposed.

“Is that it?” Ben asked. There were affirmative responses all around. He stepped to the operating table. "Give us some light here.”

Willing hands adjusted the ceiling-mounted, high intensity lights to focus their glare on the boy’s bare belly. “Better,” Ben said.

Ben looked around. Kathy nodded and held up a scalpel, handle first. John, now gowned and gloved, was in place across the table from him.

At the head of the table, the anesthesiologist was holding a black rubber mask tightly against the boy’s face and rhythmically squeezing the bag of the anesthetic machine. "Rick,” Ben said. “Just keep giving him oxygen. No anesthetic unless he starts moving. I don't think he's feeling anything right now."

Ben took one deep breath, then held out his hand for the scalpel. Without hesitation, he plunged the razor-sharp blade in a single motion through skin and fat. He dropped the scalpel on the instrument tray and made a snipping motion with his first two fingers. Kathy slapped a pair of heavy scissors into his palm, and he began to separate the muscles of the boy’s abdomen.

Ben threw a quick glance at his assistant. "Keep up with me, John. Just clamp the skin bleeders, we'll tie 'em off later. We’ve got to get to the source of this bleeding."

Ben moved back as a gush of dark blood spilled over the side of the incision. “I’m through the peritoneum now. John, get that suction in there. Lap pads, Kathy.” Ben stuffed the large absorbent pads into the depths of the incision. "It's dark in there. More light. John, put in a self-retaining retractor."

The resident inserted the device, and brilliant cones from two portable spotlights illuminated the depths of the wound. "Okay, Dr. Merrick?" John asked.

Ben nodded once. He held out his hand and made a pinching motion with his thumb and forefinger, signaling for a surgical clamp.

Come on, Ben. Don't think about who this is. This is surgery 101. You can do it in your sleep. Open the belly, find the bleeding point, clamp it off. Steady.

[Michelle Sutton]

Wow, Richard, I sense a medical thriller in the future for you.

[Rachel Marks]

Richard! So cool to see you here! You still write awesome. :) It's, me, Rachel. From Randy's Mt. Hermon mentoring clinic. How've you been, man?

[Michelle Sutton]

Here is the teaser prologue for my book that is coming out in September 2008.

Ever have something happen to you that was so awful you wish you could go back and erase the memory? I did. But in a strange way I'm glad it happened. Not because I enjoyed the nightmares or the pain, but because it changed me.

On the inside.

I always thought life was about me. That behaving and being a good person was all I needed to be happy. Now I realize all I did was try to please other people, to make them happy. I'm not sure why I felt compelled never to let anyone down. Regardless, what happened to me that horrible night forced everything into perspective. I learned something about myself.

Life is not about me.

(stop by later and I may just toss something else out there.)

[melody rose sproule]

Michelle, I am intrigued & I want to know more. Melody

[Michelle Sutton]

I may add a bit more just for the fun of it, but not tonight. You can buy the book in September if you want the whole thing. It's very edgy.

[Bonnie Leon]

Great teaser! I'm hooked. Love the premise and can't wait to read the book!

Bonnie

[Rachel Marks]

Sounds intriguing!

[Heather Goodman]

Wait a second. Of course life's not about her. It's about me! ;)